So since November, I’ve been Ubering part-time on the weekends to earn a little cash. This weekend I had my busiest weekend doing it, driving over 20 people. Some trips were shorter than others and I drove probably much all over the metro-Atlanta area.
And I actually like doing it, but it gives me a lot of time to think. Maybe it’s because I’m tired or maybe I’m PMSing but after I was finished Ubering today, I was sad and depressed.
I basically Ubered this weekend to buy groceries and have a little money for the week until I get paid Friday. I spent so much on my medication and new insulin stuff last paycheck that I had hardly any money left over.
Which leads me to ask myself, what the hell did I do in life to always get the shaft? Yes, I have a good job, but over the summer I got so behind on bills again with my Mom being sick that again, I’m having money problems.
I have never had it easy in life – from my earliest years when my father ditched me and my Mom to my Mom working three jobs to support us and then even more. I didn’t have the opportunities to get out of my hometown like some people did when it came time to be an adult. I’ve always had to work hard for what little I have and now, taking care of my mother … I feel like I’m losing myself. The majority of the money I have after bills goes towards things for her because she has to a eat a certain way.
I just feel like I never catch a break. If it weren’t for my friends during this time, I don’t know what I would do. Sometimes I feel like a horrible friend and fan and just all around person.
I know I’ve been wearing myself thin lately so something is going to have to give soon. I have no “me” time. I need Karah time or else Karah starts to fade away and I’m left with this empty shell of a person that I used to be.
I don’t ever want to be that person again.