I’ve been going nonstop since the weekend before Walker Stalker and even then, I semi-worked with doing some Ubering. So after working some with Uber yesterday, I took today off and just rested.
Basically, I’m exhausted, plus I’m getting sick. It’s probably from being around so many people last weekend and in the big crowds at Walker Stalker. Plus, there’s always #NickPlague, the sickness fans always jokingly seem to get after seeing Nick.
To be honest, it’s probably from being in the cold rain Saturday night and the cold, bitterly cold wind on Sunday. That’s enough to make me sick. With the temperatures changing, I feel my chest getting tighter and tighter.
But on another note, one reason why I’ve been quiet on here is that sometimes I feel like I have to be because people get tired of me. My doctor’s changed one of my medications and it’s not working and has made my life this past, my emotions especially, crazy. I’ve been a rollercoaster of emotions. One minute I’m happy and the next minute, I’m not. I’m sure a lot had to do with the fact that I had such a good, great weekend last weekend, which I needed badly, with most of my closest friends and this week it was back to reality.
So I’ve just kind of kept quiet on here. Plus, I haven’t felt great either, but that doesn’t keep me from writing.
And I want to write. I’m just … scared to. I had all of these thoughts last weekend with a story idea, and now I feel like it’s all just grey matter in my head that doesn’t matter. Sometimes I don’t think any of it matters. But then last weekend, fellow fans would come up to me and tell me they loved what I wrote and that meant a lot to me. A few even talked about my old stories and how they wished I would write again. I wish I could, too.
There’s a part of me that’s still lost and I just hope I can find it again.