Personal & Site: What is my life?

As you can tell, I’ve been trying to get original content on the site here and update regularly, but this past week has been c-r-a-z-y.

Like, crazy.

Since my mom has gotten out of the hospital this last time, I’ve had to take her to and from dialysis three times a week – Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. On Tuesday and Thursdays, I have to leave work to get her and bring her home, which usually takes about an hour. On top of that, we’ve had other things to do each day before I go to work.

Getting the wheelchair in and out of the trunk several times a day has been hard on me. The stress is making my fibromyalgia flare up some.

I don’t mind taking her to these places because she needs it, especially the dialysis. I mean, she’s going to be on it for the rest of her life. But Medicaid denied her rides request which she’s always had, which is why I’ve having to do all of this. We’re trying to figure it out, but I’ve been so tired that Friday and Saturday, I didn’t even log on my laptop here. I was just that tired. I fell asleep around 7 p.m. last night and woke up around 9:30 p.m. just feeling like crap.

Wednesday I had to call in sick to work because my asthma was bothering me so bad that I had to use some of my Mom’s oxygen. It usually never gets that bad, but it did then.

Honestly, I feel like I’ve lost myself a little. Nothing right now makes me happy. Starting next Saturday, I have a concert or event almost every weekend and I can’t wait til all of my friends (almost all) are here at the end of next month, but money has been so tight, who knows if I’ll even have money to do anything at Walker Stalker.

So… I’m trying. I’m in constant pain. I’m trying to be the best that I can be, but when you’re made out to feel like you never do anything right can demolish all of that fight to be the best.

I used to know who I was. Now, I feel empty.

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