There comes a point in every fangirl who writes fan fiction’s life when she realizes that the magic is over – writer’s block has won.
For me, I haven’t written substantially in almost two years for the most part. I’ve tried off and on for a while. I will start a new story and something always takes my attention away.
At first, it was this website (known formerly as Boys on the Block). That took my attention away and then it was moving for a new job and I haven’t even tried to write in over a year.
That’s something hard to face when most people online know you as the girl that owned My Confession that wrote “I Wanna Be Bad” or “The Story of Us.” You never really talk to your old writing partner anymore because life gets in the way and you just grow apart.
Since 1999, writing fan fiction was my thing. It’s what I knew best. It made me feel important when people would send in feedback or constantly ask for updates. People I don’t know have come up to me at events, telling me they love my stories.
I got to thinking about it today while driving and running errands and going to see my mother and I think I know the turning point in my Backstreet Boys fan fiction writing career.
Two things happened that made me feel indifferent writing fan fiction about Nick Carter: he knew my name and who I was and he got married (and is now a father).
That sounds weird, but I guess the fantasy that I wrote in my stories was dead. And knowing that he knew my name without me telling him, made it feel too real.
Does that make sense?
I’m being weird right?
Of course, since 1999, I’ve known the stories that I have written have been fiction – obviously.
I do however want to make sure all my stories are online to keep and make the site look really nice for the archive. That’s one of my goals before the end of the year is to get that going.
Plus, I’ve had an idea for an actual, real book that I want to write and maybe can get it published. So who knows? It’s never been a secret that writing fan fiction led me to my love of writing.
But the fan fiction days are over.
But the fangirl is alive and strong.