2014 NKOTB Cruise Review: Lisa (@gummiebear411)
So our loyal friend and correspondent Lisa (@gummiebear411 on Twitter – Follow her, she’s hillarious), went on the 2014 NKOTB Cruise and made it back alive to give us a quick rundown and some photos.
Let me start by saying that I will fan girl and probably be incoherent a large majority of this. A brief overview before I divulge my crazy adventures, I was a cruise virgin. Good lord, I am so glad NKOTB popped my cherry, and I enjoyed every single second of it. That Thursday was and still is a blur. It rained all morning here in New York and I kept getting nervous, thinking I’d miss the boat or even wake up from a surreal dream I was having. It all became real when I stepped on the boat and saw Jon Knight sitting right in front of me. That’s when it slapped me in the face, I was about to spend the next four days trapped of a boat with a group I’ve loved since I was 2.
The sail away party was amazing. We sailed through the Hudson River and I was in awe of the beauty my city possessed. I was also overwhelmed by the sheer volume of people around me. The sail away party consisted mostly of the guys signing autographs and taking tons of photos with fans. I was on the top deck looking down so I couldn’t really enjoy all the fun. I had to rush and shower and change anyway, I had the NKOTB feud to go to. No, I wasn’t in group A so I wasn’t privy to #daddysspecialtreat. I wish I was. We did though, have Donnie go on a mini rant about how he was a Family Feud expert.The guys were split up in to two groups, Danny and the Knight bothers were team Dorchester and Donnie and Joe were Jamaica Plain/Boston. We did though get tons of dirty jokes and comments from Donnie and surprisingly, Jon. Team Dorchester killed Team Jamaica Plain/Boston. Donnie and Joe were not happy campers about that. When they did finally start to wrack up points, a dance party usually followed. The game took longer than expected but no one complained.
That nights theme was Masquerade night. Honestly, that night was a blur but I do remember Danny standing five feet away from me and I may have screamed like a little girl because of it. If anyone knows anything about me via twitter or Facebook, I adore Danny Wood, have since I was 2. All I do vividly remember is Joe getting lost in the crowd because no one could recognize him with his mask on. That became a theme of the cruise, Joe getting lost in the crowd. I don’t think I went to bed until a least three in the morning that night, so I guess I enjoyed myself. The next morning was my group picture. Jesus. You need ten girls for a picture, my sister and I are obviously only two people. God bless my sisters small bladder because she met a girl who was looking for two Danny girls. Jesus is real people. While waiting on line I met Dan Wood Sr., he was adorable. Can I keep him as my dad? I wish I could relive the moments leading up to the picture and the actual taking of the picture each and everyday of my life. My group was almost up but the guys needed to take a break seeing they were at it for an hour already. Donnie declared that he needed to pee, so he jumped over the makeshift couch and proceeded to high five every person he passed (myself included). Eeek!
Fangirl count: 2(?)
Once Donnie returned they continued with the pictures. We were told by Rose Tours staff and security, no hugs. Take the picture and then leave. Oh hell no! So I stood by Danny and he immediately put his arm around my waist. Squee! I died inside. I put my arm around his waist and just looked over at my sister who was dying all well, for a Jordan and Donnie girl. After the pictures I got a sweet hug from Danny and then proceeded to leave. Not so fast Lisa, Joey wants a hug. So Joey got a hug then Jordan too. Jon Knight is hands down the best hugger I ever encountered. I don’t like touching people or being hugged but I could be hugged by him everyday. Lastly, was Donnie. I die! I said hi to him like we’ve been friends for years, aren’t we? He engulfed me in a bone crushing hug, kissed the top of my head and told me he loved me. So, it’s now known across the globe that Donnie loves me. Spread the word.
Next was Danny’s beer pong which turned into the day party. I was front and center for that. I learned my lesson from the day before. Location is key. Danny didn’t play beer pong because he was afraid we’d take advantage of him once he became inebriated. Well duh. He answered questions as the two girls played the game, horribly. Danny said that he doesn’t know the location for the next cruise, but kept teasing a European one. His go to answer was, maybe, possibly, no. He did say that if he ever wrote a cookbook it’ll be part his recipes and part fan recipes. I’d buy it. The day party was epic. It included my epic Donnie ripping off his shirt video which can be seen on my Instagram and Twitter, which was retweeted and favorite like a million times. I have no shame. I also caught the banana Joey infamously molested.
Fangirl count: 9
Cowboy night also turned into the night I saw #daddysspecialtreat up close. Joe had the idea to strip of all his clothes and jump into the pool. I was so close that I was the mark his socks left on his ankles and his toes were starting to prune. Danny ended up shirtless as well. I may have drank six or seven tequila drinks that night, so my memory is a little fuzzy. I have tons of quotes from each and every day but I can’t place the quote with the day so that’s useless. Joe and Donnie did buy everyone at the bar Fireball shots, which Joe had never heard of before. Whatever. The party raged on all night, even though we lost an hour once we entered Bermuda. Donnie did hope we got lost in the triangle so we had to repopulate the human race on the boat. I volunteer as tribute! Let’s just say all five guys in cowboy hats was a very pretty sight indeed. The next morning we arrived in Bermuda and I got hella sunburnt. Damn Irish skin. The water was so blue and the sand was pink. Pink! On my way back I ran into Jon again. He honestly stalked me all four days. Once back on the boat I had the lets get intimate concert. My seat sucked but I did enjoy myself. They did all the classics and a few songs from 10. I’d assume it was the same set list they had in their European shows. Donnie’s voice was so hoarse, I felt his pain. Even now I still sound like I’m and eighty year old granny who smokes two packs a day.
The theme of the night was Movie night. After a long, hot day in the sun I wore my PJ’s while others dressed up as their favorite movies characters or stars. The guys got in on the fun too. Danny was Maverick from Top Gun. Jordan was Scarface and did it to perfection, staying in character all damn night. Joey was dressed as Hubble from The Way We Were. Last but certainty not least was Jon and Donnie aka Jack Twist and Ennis Del Mar from Brokeback Mountain. Also know as the greatest love story of my generation. It was epic and beautiful, both the movie and the guys. They did end up kissing which got the reaction it rightfully deserved. So we finally got to the movies or videos actually. It started with season 4 Blue Blood Bloopers. It was epic and hysterical. Which turned into a little sneak peek of Joey’s upcoming show, The McCarthy’s. The epicness ended with a DVD copy of a VHS tape of an old behind the scenes and concert footage plus old commercials they did. God, I love the late 80’s/early 90’s. They did show a preview for Nick&Knight, which made me giddy and gleeful. The commentary they had was what sold the night for me.
And finally the last day. I honestly slept the whole day away. Until Donnie woke us all up around 5 and told us to get our asses to the Lido deck because he and Joe had a surprise for us. The surprise was that Donnie was going to officiate a wedding. Joey walked the bride down the aisle, still dressed in his Hubble gear. Swoon. Donnie started to tear up after he announced the happy couple man and wife. It was cute. I quickly went back to my room to change and get ready for GPS/United Nations night. On my way back to the Lido deck, history was made. I met Donnie and got my selfie. Here’s the quick story. My sister and I got off the elevator and two seconds later Donnie was walking towards them. I said hi, cause hello, old friends, remember. My sister was bold and told him that we hadn’t gotten our selfies yet. He got upset and said he just spent the last hour taking 900 pictures and we better hurry our asses up and get our selfies. Obviously he was joking with us. My sister got her picture and then I got mine, with the perfect side eye because I was wearing a Yankees shirt. Hello, I was representing my hometown. I was on cloud nine until Joey came out for Duets at Dusk II. He was perfection, like always. Some of the girls were amazing too. I died when Sasha Allen came out and joined him for “As Long As Your Mine” from Wicked, which Joey was in almost ten years ago. Danny and Joey ended it with a duet to “I’ll Be There” by the Jackson 5. Swoon.
The last party of the cruise was epic. I went bed at 5 and the guys were still partying. It was freezing that night, though. It rained half of the night before and was cold Sunday night. I may have pneumonia. The guys all wore something that represented Boston, expect my lovely Jonathan Knight, who represented New York. God, I love him. I’ve never seen the guys have so much fun as they did that night, despite how tired they all were. Donnie made a comment about the Backstreet Boys and their cruise and it made me giggle. He said, and I quote “we don’t do conga lines, other boy band cruises do that. We’re not the Backstreet Boys.” Donnie, did you go to the school of shade with professor Nick Carter?
In conclusion, I know, finally. I had the time of my life with five of the greatest guys in the world. It really is true, we are five guys and a million sisters. I met people from all over the world, literally. Australia and Denmark to be exact. I wouldn’t trade these four days for anything, I want to do it again next year. I love New Kids and I love all these BH’s that experience these days with me. And I may be a Danny girl now with strong Joe tendencies.
Fangirl count: infinity.
Follow Lisa on Twitter @gummiebear411!